O.k. O.k. I know it's been a long time

Yes, I know I haven't put anything on here in a long time. Sorry, for a while there I just didn't want anything to do with the computer.

So here is the scoop. Transplant went great. Janice was awesome!!!!! For about two days after I was completely exhausted and didn't even want to talk to anyone on the phone, let alone turn on the computer. I didn't feel sick, but didn't feel great either. I am pretty sure this was the radiation catching up with me.

Even after that, I was pretty tired most of the day.

I was considered engrafted n March 30 after three days of my neutrophils being over 500. They are actually around 2500 now. This normally means I could have gone home, but no! I had to get acute graft vs host (GVH) disease. In my case, it has taken the form of diarrhea. I guess I shouldn't complain. So far, it has not affected my liver, or kidneys or any other vital organs. A mild case of GVH is good as it should also help with killing any remaining leukemia that was in my body. But there were several days there where I couldn't even leave my room because I couldn't go far from the bathroom. YES, I am truly a prisoner.

So what this means is they are giving me steroids to help stop the problem and get the marrow under control AND, I haven't not been allowed to eat or drink anything for about 6 days. My taste buds recovered about 2 days after this and I have been craving food like crazy. Especially nachos and smothered burritos. Do you know how many cooking shows and food commercials there are out there? And even during regular shows, they sure eat or drink alot.

Almost There T minus 3 days

One more round of chemo and then I have a day of rest before transplant. I am scared about how sick it will make me. There are so many unknowns. All I can hope for is that they can control the marrow and that the leukemia will never come back. It will all be worth it if that happens.  It was so hard to go from feeling perfectly normal on Sunday, to tired with messed up taste buds. I am sure it will get worse before it gets better. I really am scared and ask everyone to pray for me.  I am sure it will all go well, but you know how it is, you mind always thinks about the worst possibilities.

The doctors did let me go outside today. It felt soooo nice. I can't wait until I am able to go home. It is just more comfortable and restful there.  YUP even with the dogs.

Radiation - Day 4 T minus 6 to transplant

The radiation is starting to get to me. My stomache feels acidic and really doesn't want to eat, so I have to find the simplest foods I can.  Today was the LONGEST session ever. The machine kept over heating so instread of taking an hour, it took two. I kept feeling like I had bile in the back of my throat but kept telling myself to keep it down, I can make it. The only reward was that Jason was in my room when I got back and we curled up on my bed and took a nap,  It is sooo hard feeling sick after feeling so great and unfortunately it is only going to get worse. But I can do it!!!

Check out the pics below....and you thought torchure was a thing of the past

Let the Torture Begin - Day minus 8

O.k  I am going to have to post pictures on here of the how they strap you in for radiation treatment. Everyone thought torture was a thing of the past, but if you saw the devices they use in the dungeon here, you would believe again.  I had my first of seven rounds yesterday. I wish it was round seven. I really can't describe the event without pictures.The good news was it didn't make me sick, the bad news was my face is swollen. My lymphnoids and checks and around my eyes are very puffy.  It looks beautimus.

It is really hard to be back in the hospital.  I just want to be done and go home! The staff here is fabulous, but it is soooo boring and I miss my family and my pets. Today is day minus 8 with 0 being transplant day. Hopefully soon, I am on the other side of this.

Ugh.

I was looking at the pictures posted below.  It is amazing how carefree and simple our life was not that long ago. Man...I even miss my hair, even though it was a pain to get ready in the morning. And did you notice how tan I look? I can't wait until I am all done with this. We are going to take another cruise to celebrate. You are all invited...each and every one of you.

On another note:

My friend Kelly owns a boutique http://roknroyalty.web.officelive.com/default.aspx she is offering to donate a portion of the sale to me if you mention my name.  She has really cute designer jeans, shirts, jewelry etc. and my teenage girls LOVE her store. If you are interested, she is located at 13269 S 1460 W.

Oh....one more thing. Only 5 1/2 days of freedom left.

Back to work

I went back to work on last Monday. I don't know why I wanted to go back, other than I like the people I work with and I miss my job, but it is just delaying the inevitable. PLUS, it was getting expensive for me to be at home. I kept finding projects that I wanted to do around the house and none of them were cheap. Going back for three weeks will not help me keep my job after transplant. I will be out too long. :( It was hard sharing my desk, computer, etc with the temp. It feels like and invasion of personal space and, even though she is very nice, it is hard not to resent her being here.
I found out Wednesday I am going to transplant on March 7. Even though this is what I have been waiting for, I am terrified. Jason and I met with Dr. Koneca and she mapped out the possible problem that I may encounter including severe gut problems from diarrhea to mouth sores, to being unable to eat and drink for weeks. This is all related to the marrow vs host disease. However, the marrow vs host disease can kill any remaining leukemia. So here is what I am hoping for: there is what they call marrow vs leukemia which is a mild form of the above disease. I what just enough for the marrow to be affective in fighting this crap, but not enough to make me very ill. Is that asking too much? Naw, I don't think so.

Biopsies, biopsies, biopsies

I went in Wednesday for my marrow biopsy.  Boy, was that fun....NOT. Peter, the PA that did my biopsy was having serious issues. The first attempt he figured he was on the outside of the bone and would have to re-adjust the needle. After numbing me some more, he tried again.  Did you know that the T-handled needle to do biopsies looks like the nails you find at the hardware store with the blue plastic at the head. They are even the same color. I wonder if the hospital buys them from Home Depot for about $.95 each and charges me around $150 for them. Anyway, the marrow he retrieved from the second attempt "did not look right" he thinks he was still hitting the side of the bone and not the middle. Soooo, there was a third attempt with a little more numbing. Jackpot! The procedure that usually takes about 10 minutes took close to 1/2 hour. And man was my left butt sore.  I did get to see the marrow as they put it on the slides. It is not very impressive. It just looks like solid blood.  Now spinal fluid...that stuff is cool! The second time I had the LP, the nurse asked if I wanted to see the fluid. I thought, "not really." But she showed it to me and it was clear. Amazing. Apparently tears, saliva and spinal fluid are the only clear fluids in the body. Learn something new everyday.
Update on Kim:  her first biopsy did not identify any cancer. I thought this would be good, but the surgeon said he wanted to go in again and take a portion of the mass that is in her stomache instead of the lymphnoid he took. Apparently, this mass is full of blood vessels and he said that she should should hope it turns out to be lymphoma because it would be easily treated with chemo to shrink and remove the mass. He says that otherwise, removal of the mass would cause massive hemoraging and could kill her. Nice. Never thought I would start praying for someone to have cancer.